Added: Ante Scheffer - Date: 12.08.2021 23:21 - Views: 49752 - Clicks: 3165
I see all of my other coworkers and classmates able to just do something that causes everyone around them to laugh, and I feel Im very serious those are the kind of people that others want to be around. I find myself thriving in one on one conversations about my interests sports, games, carsbut those conversations usually end up being really serious and I can tell that the other person starts to feel bored after awhile. I really wish I was a fun loving guy who could light up a room and not be this reserved, boring, serious guy who can only ask questions instead of making witty comments.
I would like to know the answer as well as I have the same issue. Well I am leaving this comment in case someone has good advice about this.
It's always gonna feel unnatural to do something you're not used to doing. Im sure you will get into situations in which you will take things less seriously. Im kind of offended when someone holds something really dear or clings to certain things in life. Does Im very serious mean I dont respect serious people at all.
I just wanted to let you know that pretending to be any different than you are will make you unhappy and will make you feel bad. Embrace your seriousness and just remember that the people who you want to be with also would want to be with you usually. Sure it seems hard sometimes to find the right people but putting on a show so you can be liked will never work and it will always feel shitty.
I even found pleasure in alienating people a bit. Just wanted to let Im very serious know there is the other perspective too. I know my comment isnt really helpful. But it really does not matter its just reddit and you are a stranger. Why take it serious.
This is a belief you have. It is not true. Now, you don't understand why it is not true. But one day you will hopefully understand. Close your eyes and imagine for one moment that you are this witty and cheerful guy, you're in the center of a room surrounded by people.
And you see your current self in a corner of the room. What do you see? Literally, in your mind, what are you seeing? What do you think that witty and cheerful self would say to your current self?
I get that you're trying to motivate this guy, but the fact of Im very serious matter is that he will never be the guy in the middle of the room, and that's okay. What he can do is start taking risks; make constant jokes whether they stick or not and learn from your mistakes. Not being a clown is fine as long as you're able to keep up with the conversation. You need to practice being that person. Don't you think some people are faking it? Yeah but those people who fake it do it really well. The irony is that you can't fake something you literally don't know how to do in front of someone who is familiar with that thing.
It's easier to fake being a doctor because not everyone went to med school, so you can lie and memorize certain facts and say the right things to sound convincing. But it's impossible to fake being funny or sociable, because everyone knows what a funny or Im very serious person looks like. There are no "lay people" when it comes to comedy and popularity, because those Im very serious subjects where the audience has as much say Im very serious determining your expertise as the practitioner does.
It's pretty much learning to catch how you feel and knowing "how to" and having the confidence to express that feeling. As long as you are nice to other people and genuinely care about their feelings; you can take as many social risks as possible, and be super awkward. Feeling awkward, and saying awkward things is sometimes the best way to grow socially. An taking the risk is essential for you to figure out what does and doesn't work for you. I 27M actually love more meaningful serious conversations that start of with these serious open questions that you mention.
Context: I work in Sweden and as I'm Dutch: open and direct I cannot coop with these meaningless bullshit conversations about the weather every coffee and lunch break. Final advise: find conversation partners who want to discuss your serious topics with you. I'm sure they are out there. Well you have two options here, and it you want to change then one is to try to start making jokes which are going to be very hit or miss. Remember humor is subjective so know your audience. Just mainly remember that it takes practice so your just gonna have to let some jokes fall flat, happens to me all the time still.
I kind of fall between what you suggested. Even if the joke is not funny, it can still be interesting. Practice being "silly" until you're comfortable doing it around others. an improv class, or, a strategy I enjoy, walk around your room and point at different things but call them something else in the room point at a chair, say "lamp".
If you feel uncomfortable, you're doing it right. Keep practicing being silly for no reason until you're comfortable, and then raise the stakes by doing silly things around other people.
Also if you want to be funnier in a group, don't think about what would make others laugh, think about what would make you laugh, and do that. My roommates and I have gotten comfortable to the point that we'll just shout gibberish to each other from across the room, back and forth. It's absurd but really endearing. Congratulations with Chris D'Elia is one of my favorites.
What's wrong with being a serious person who asks good questions and laughs at people's jokes? To me, it seems like you could expand your repertoire of topics or learn to recognize when people want to have a light conversation a bit faster. Still, solemnity is not a negative trait. At 20 you are basically past the time you'd develop the personality you want. You'd need to regress a little and participate in communities with year olds and Im very serious "grow" with them for like 3 years, while trying to copy their behavior.
Eventually you'll be copying the behavior you want, when they will be around Bad or good events, breakups, other things etc. Can totally change a persons personality no matter their age. How do I cope with being a very serious person? Posted by 1 year ago. Sort by: best. I also need to know the answer to this lol. I really wish I was a fun loving guy who could light up a room and not be this reserved, Im very serious, serious guy who can only ask questions instead of making witty comments Close your eyes and imagine for one moment that you are this witty and cheerful guy, you're in the center of a room surrounded by people.
Continue this thread. More posts from the socialskills community. A place to share your favorite social skills tips, ask for advice, or offer encouragement to others on their social skills journey. Welcome aboard! Created Jul 12, Im very serious Top posts june 14th Top posts of june, Top posts Back to Top.Im very serious
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If You’re ‘Too Serious,’ Guess What? You’re Perfect Just As You Are